Top 10 Family Law Myths Debunked – What Families Need to Know

If you’re going through a separation or parenting dispute, you may have already received some well-meaning advice — from friends, family, or even social media. But in family law, misinformation can be risky.

As experienced family lawyers in Toowoomba, we’ve heard it all — and we’re here to set the record straight. Here are the top 10 family law myths we frequently encounter, and the facts you need to know to protect yourself and your family.

1. “Mothers always get custody of the children.”

Fact: The Family Law Act 1975 focuses on the best interests of the child, not the gender of the parent. Parenting orders are made based on each parent's involvement, safety, and the child’s needs — not on assumptions.

2. “You have to go to court to sort out everything.”

Fact: Most family law matters are resolved without a court battle and less than 5% make it all the way to a final trial. Through family dispute resolution (FDR) or mediation, you can reach agreements and have them made legally binding via Consent Orders.

3. “If my ex doesn’t pay child support, I can withhold the kids.”

Fact: Parenting time is not tied to financial matters. Withholding children from the other parent because of unpaid child support is against the law and could land you in trouble with the Family Court.

4. “Everything is divided 50/50 in a divorce.”

Fact: There’s no automatic split. In Australia, property settlements consider financial and non-financial contributions, future needs, and what is fair in your specific situation.

5. “We weren’t married, so there’s no legal issue.”

Fact: De facto couples in Toowoomba have similar legal rights to married couples under the Family Law Act. In most instances, if you lived together for two years or have children together, you're entitled to a property settlement however there are a number of factors to determine the existence of a de facto relationship.

6. “The kids can choose who to live with at 12.”

Fact: Children’s views are important but not decisive. Courts consider their maturity, emotional ties, and if their views were influenced by a parent or pressure. There is no fixed age when a child decides.

7. “Cheating changes the settlement.”

Fact: Australia has a no-fault divorce system. Affairs or moral judgments don’t directly impact property or parenting decisions — unless they’ve affected the family finances or created a risk to children.

8. “I can’t get divorced until we sort out our assets.”

Fact: You can apply for divorce after 12 months of separation. Property and spousal maintenance matters can be dealt with before or after — but you have a 12-month time limit to finalise property issues once the divorce is granted. We recommend you finalise your children’s matters and property settlement prior to applying for divorce so you are not limited by a 12-month time limit before having to file proceedings. 

9. “I only need a lawyer if we’re fighting.”

Fact: Even amicable separations in Toowoomba benefit from sound legal advice. A family lawyer can help you document agreements, protect your future, and avoid costly mistakes — even when things are civil. 

10. “Social media is private and doesn’t matter in court.”

Fact: Courts regularly accept social media posts as evidence. Even “private” messages or deleted content can be used to show poor parenting, threats, spending habits or breaches of court orders.

Every family is unique, and so is every family law matter. Don’t let myths shape your legal decisions. Whether you're separating, dividing property, or negotiating parenting arrangements, having clear, local legal guidance is essential.